Thursday, October 3, 2013

I jumped...

I was watching my 3 year old (she is almost 4 but technically still 3 for another month) as she danced and sang alone to beat of her own drum. First thought was damn my baby is growing up fast (sad face)...I swear in the future she will be the raddest pro surfer/beach volleyball player. Stoked on my girl! Second thought was focusing on her playfulness and endless imagination. Children are so free, filled with energy as they"just live"....I felt inspired. I too wanted to sing and dance but I am Dad and it is just not the same, so I danced/sang in my mind...the catalyst for something good brewing or so I hoped.

Today I received an email that made me smile. I actually jumped in the air like a kid after opening it. It was one of those "fuck yeah" moments. I have a nice set of teeth but unfortunately I don't run around like Mikey Taylor cheesing it up. As Eeyore as I feel, there are still things that make me happy. My latest run has been shit, hence the frown but everyday I hope and pray for a better tomorrow. Somethings gotta give, don't give up, stay strong and some other retarded nonsense is tattooed on my forehead. I have been practicing the "do more of what makes you happy" thing...I know there is way more to life then just money and stress. I miss love though, part of my puzzle that has fucked me up the most. Sure I feel love from my children but in all honesty they are kids, babies some say, toddlers is a better term, yes they love their daddy, but not the love that I miss as an adult.

"Love is gnarly" as Davey said quite simply on that day at the mushroom farm, yes it is my friend, yes it is.

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